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Too-Faced Releases Emotionally-Activated Lip Gloss. Society Mourns Loss Of Dignity

March 16, 2010

Today, I wasted the majority of my energy making fun of Mood Swing Emotionally-Activated Lip Gloss and Muff-So-Soft, a shampoo designed specifically for your hoo-haa, over on Sodahead. Therefore, I’m pasting it below. Because not only am I too tired to think of anything else clever, I also find it immensely important to promote women’s rights (see non-profits below) and to take a stand against morons.

Are Her Lips Red? She’s Probably Horny.

On the heels of International Women’s DayInternational Women’s Day, Jezebel corralled two products this morning that make huge strides for the advancement of feminism and women’s rights–The Mood Swing Emotionally Activated Lip Gloss and Muff-So-Soft, a shampoo designed specifically for your lady bits.

The Mood Swing Lip Gloss, a Too Faced product, reacts with a girl’s body chemistry (or guy’s…no judgement) and changes colors according to one’s level of arousal. Or, as the British tabloid The Sun so eloquently described, “the saucy slap changes from clear to deep crimson as the wearer feels frisky.” God, I love British people.

And if your arousal lip gloss gets you into a sticky situation (pun intended), you can simply wash away your bad night with Muff-So-Soft, a shampoo that exists specifically for your hoo-haa. They also have conditioner and shaving cream. This is also, of course, assuming you have any bits left after your last Brazilian.

You can purchase the Mood Swing lip gloss here. And you reactionary Muff-So-Soft here. 

Humanity never fails to astound me with its brilliance. How depressing that A) products like this exist and B) people actually spend money on them. The Mood Swing gloss costs 12 pounds, which is about $18, and the Muff-So-Soft product line ranges from $8-$12, sales withstanding. Do you know how much food that could that could buy for a struggling single mother in Uganda? Do you think Hilary ClintonHilary Clinton worries about her muff? No. Aside from the quick, efficient wax, I think not. 

In fact, in honor of the culmination of the Daily Beast’s Women in the World Summit, how about we all take those $18 bucks we’re saving for emotionally-activate lip gloss and throw it towards one of the non-profits below, all of which promote women’s rights around the world. The first, BeadforLife (featured in Nicholas Kristof’s column on Saturday) facilitates jewelry parties to support women entrepreneurs in Uganda. The bracelets run just around $5. 

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